Death of a Salesman

Today on the start of March Madness, I'd like to share a little story with you all, stemming from an experience I had yesterday. An experience that made me cringe at the thought of "sales" and the phony, scripted, canned nature of the whole game.

After celebrating St. Paddy's day to the fullest on Tuesday, needless to say Wednesday was a little "slow moving" to put in politely. A childhood friend of mine, whom I own my house with, called me up first thing in the morning, thanked me for having people over till the wee hours of the am and keeping him awake, and also informed me he had taken advantage of a promotion at BJ's. At 3pm later that day, we would be visited by a Penguin Window salesman for a "free quote". OK, great, we had tossed around the idea of new windows before, so why not get a little educated and get the quote. My windows are old and wooden, definitely in need of replacing. Probably oozing with lead paint, asbestos, arsenic, whatever. Although at this stage in the game, probably not the best timing for me, but it can't hurt. I figured the salesman would come by, take a look at the windows, give us the estimate, and be gone after about 30-45 minutes. I could not have been more wrong!

Bruce, the salesman, arrived promptly at 3pm, and he came out guns ablazin'. He sat us down in my messy apartment and set the agenda for the meeting. Being a seasoned sales rep myself, my salesman radar immediately went berserk. Bruce let us know we were going to walk around the house to take measurements, then he would introduce us to his company, then talk about options, then provide us with the quote, then he would like an answer of yes or no. Now, as I said, I've had plenty of sales training and setting the agenda upfront is necessary, but this guy came off so fake and so "duchey" that I nearly threw up in my mouth. But I had respect for his time and his game, so we went along, after informing him that we most likely not going to "buy today".

We took the tour and his cheesiness was palpable. An old manager of mine used to say, "Would you rather look cool and not make the sale, or look stupid and make the sale?" Well, I would rather look cool and make the sale, thanks for asking. After the tour, he went out to his car for the first time and grabbed a big suitcase with framing examples. At this point, we have just completed hour 1. He starts showing us options and introducing the company, then asks, "do you have a pot, I need to boil some water?" Uh, ok I guess. He makes his way into my kitchen and starts boiling water. As we continue to talk at the dining room table, I notice a pungent odor. Bruce gets up and goes and checks on the water. "Is it ok for me to be an idiot, I turned on the wrong burner," he said. OK buddy, do what you gotta do. I am growing irritated. After the water is boiled, we enter the kitchen and at this point I am starving. I grab a can of roasted almonds from the cabinet, take a handful and offer some to my buddy. As I am putting them back in the cabinet, Bruce belts out, "What am I an orphan?" and puts his hand out. OK, I guess you can have some of my food chief. He places various vinyl window frames in the water, and lo and behold, his Penguin frame does not react to the heat. Awesome.

At this point, my buddy had to return downstairs to look after his son. I let him know I could handle the rest of the presentation. Bruce begins to panic, as he needs both "decision makers" to see his whole act. "Wait, both of you have to see this next display, you will be amazed, do you have an outlet?" Bruce says. "Don't worry about it, I'll handle it," I reply unenthusiastically. He then goes out to his car for the second time and returns with another big suitcase filled with window glass samples. He plugs in a heat lamp and again shows how the Penguin window does not let in or out any heat. Absolutely amazing. He asks if I can see how Penguin is the superior product. Oh yeah.

He then whips out his pad and starts scribbling quotes. He gives all options, but he is clearly pushing the Penguin windows. His quote: 23 grand. "How does that sound," he asks. Too much, I reply. He then explains of some super discount and takes it down to 21 grand. Too much. "Look, Bruce I appreciate your time, but the timing is not right," I tell him. Blah, blah, blah, he then asks if I have a phone, he left his in the car. No, just a cell I say. He then heads out to his car for the 3rd time, returns with his cell phone, and calls the office. After some shop talk to his manager...19 grand. Nope. He is now squirming, asking what will it take. I say it will "take nothing. If you came in here and the price was 5 grand I wouldn't buy. My buddy called me up at 9 this morning and just told me you were coming." It has now been 2 hours. 2 hours of my life I wish I had back, I really could have used a nap at that point.

He then keeps bs'ing me, I try to close this out, but he insists on calling the office again, to see if there may be any "marketing money" available. Lo and behold, there is, and the price again comes down to 17 grand. Thanks but no thanks Bruce, I have already told you. Finally, looking like his dog, grandmother and son had just died all at the same time, got up and exited stage left.

I texted my buddy that this must have been punsihment for keeping him up the previous night. He agreed it was. But the moral of the story, is this is why I am not crazy about sales. Now, I 100% know I'm not as much of a dbag as Bruce, but I cringe at that thought of that mentality. I also prefer business to business sales, which is completely different, but hopefully you understand where I'm coming from. And these are some of the thoughts,concerns swimming around in my head at this time. And believe me, I know sales is where the money is. And I do like money, but I also have to live with myself, and as I have said before, I believe I just need the proper type of sale, one with long term client relationships and a product that is needed, and in a growing industry.

Which I am still trying to find...but the industries I am considering are some form of healthcare as well as some type of insurance. Wholesale insurance. So in the coming days/weeks I think I am going to contact recruiters in these fields and start to run with it. Because I am almost 2 months into this thing, so its really time to start cranking. I'm not going to lie, I probably have been having a little too much fun and too little "looking for a job", however I'm not looking to get burned out or discouraged right away by staring at a monster.com screen or something like that. Although this time off is to find out what I want to do, its also about mentally preparing myself for a future, and yes, leisure activity is an important part of that. And hopefully people understand that. Its all about balance. Whether balance of work vs free time, work vs family, whatever. It can't be all about "work".

And on that note I will now begin packing for a weekend trip up to ski in the majestic White Mountains of NH. Please, try to contain yourselves, and have a great weekend. And yes my weeks and weekends are slowly beginning to blend together, However this week I will blame that on St. Patrick, the patron saint of Guiness, corned beef, and bad decisions...