Intro to Cake Baking

So I have been asked by more than 1 person lately just what the f I am waiting for. Well, as we know, I have hired this CMC (Career Management Consultant)* to aid me in this process called finding employment that will get me going. That will propel me from bed every morning. I got a first look at the new resume yesterday, gotta say it looks pretty good. According to this resume, I can leap small buildings in a single bound and perform open heart surgery with a ball-point pen...in a crowded opera house.

I have two more meetings next week with CMC and I will be turned loose for a bit, to use my newfound knowledge to see where it leads. Start getting some nice resumes out there, and also see what the old CMC can dig up as well. There's got to be something. So, again, why is everything taking so long? Well, let me try to put this into laymen's terms. Or provide an analogy, if you will.

Say I'm baking a cake. I want to do it right. F'n best cake ever. I put together a list of ingredients. Chocolate, coconut, eggs, sugar, whatever, all that sh*t. I go to the store and get these ingredients, making sure everything is just right. I return to the kitchen. Start preparing, again making sure everything is mixed properly, texture is right, etc; Now I don't bake cakes, but let's say bake time is 1 hour. I put the cake in the oven. Now, do get so antsy and fired up, sh*t my pants and take the cake out after 2o minutes and eat it? Of course not. I make sure the cake is fully cooked before enjoying it.

Hence, right now, for me, the cake is in the oven.

There you have it. Contemplate that morsel of philosophic deepness over the weekend.

And oh yeah, for those who think it's one big picnic here On Sabbatical, I did turn down a ticket to go see Phish at Fenway Park Sunday night. Now I love concerts. Good concerts that is. And I've never seen Phish, have always wanted to, there's a fun crew going, and Fenway would be the perfect buffer concert to see them for the first time, (rather than going to one of those week-long festivals, where bathing is optional. Or should I say frowned upon.) Oh yeah, penthouse hotel suite as well. Turned it all down. Trying to be responsible. For once. Or twice.

I have a meeting with CMC Monday morning, and believe it or not, I am eager to get this process rolling and find a nice career. Whatever the f that may be.

So its not all fun, games and grabass over here. It's more like fun, games, grabass and a couple good decisions, thrown into the mix, every now and again...


*If you're confused by this term, please, for the love of God, read back a few posts. I will lose my mind if I have to explain this every time.

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb


(sometimes I find inspiration in the unlikeliest of places...)

Brazen Careerist

Greetings friends!

I hope the memorial weekend treated everyone well. I meant to be back here last Friday to pen some additional ground breaking material, but I ventured out to the beach on Thursday morning and ended up staying a couple days. Phenomenal couple of days. However the ocean is very cold these days, but not cold enough to keep Utley out...

As for today, I will share with you a little story, perhaps solidifying my credibility as a blogger, perhaps not...

So last week, or maybe the week before, I was reading a daily blog I visit, barstoolsports.com. For those unfamiliar, its a Boston based blog touching on anything from sports to pop culture, to grading the latest sex scandal teacher. Diverse cross section of material. On this particular day, El Pres (the owner, head writer, whatever) posts of how his site was just complimented by a reputable blogger source. He posted a link to this website, Brazen Careerist, (http://blog.penelopetrunk.com) written by a woman named Penelope Trunk. Apparently her careers column has been published in the NY Times, Boston Globe, Time, all sorts of big time stuff. Her careers blog has over 35,000 subscribers. I found myself perusing the site, thinking to myself that this is right up my alley. She also runs some type of career advice company. Hmmm.

I found a link that said "email Penelope" and immediatley thought about emailing her. After all, I must be a targeted reader; having taking a sabbatical from the working world back in February. And started writing a blog. On my career. Or lack there of. But she must get tons of email from bloggers looking for money or what have you. I put the plan on the back burner.

But last week, endorphins cranking fresh off of a workout, I decided to f it and I emailed her. Correspodence went something like this. Or exactly like this:


On Wed, May 20, 2009 at 10:13 AM, Mr. Utley wrote:
Penelope,

Not sure why I am emailing, but figured why not. I came across your blog/website last week (via a link from Barstool Sports...hope that didn't turn out too bad for you). Anyway, I think your blog/website is right up my alley.

After almost 7 years in various sales positions, back in January I decided I wasn't happy with the direction things were going, so I resigned, with no new job. Didn't want to continue to job hop, on the company's dime, when I didn't really know what I wanted to do anyway. And I started writing a blog. Not to make money. To keep my brain working and hopefully keep my thoughts moving in the right direction. But I like writing

http://onsabbaticalnh.blogspot.com

As I said, not sure why I email, just one of those things I felt like doing, as these days I regularly contemplate just what it is I've been put here to do...

So, I've been enjoying your site; perhaps I may even learn something here.

Cheers,

Mr. Utley

Shortly after I sent the email, as I was preparing to tee off on the first hole, the blackberry started buzzing:

Ah ha! I love Barstool Sports, so it's fun to see which readers would cross over from that blog to mine -- takes a special person, I think :)

Anyway, you are a good writer, and it's fun to read what you're thinking -- like when you are thinking it's good that you're sounding like you're selling something when you talk about the beach. That's insightful and funny.

Blogging has gotten me through so many tough times. Really. Cliche, but true. So it seems great that you're blogging now. Good luck!

Penelope

And yes, I did email with my real name. In case you didn't know, Mr. Utley is not my real name. Wasn't sure about the direction of this blog at first, so I went with a pen name. And if you also didn't know, Mr. Utley, or Mike Utley is the keyboardest for Jimmy Buffet & The Coral Reefer Band. And Jimmy and the gang have been a heavy influence on my life, since I was just a wee lad. But I digress.

So, even though short and sweet, this email from Penelope made me feel good. First, that my writing/blogging was actually OK. But second, and most important, it gave me validation that I am not alone in this journey, that what I'm doing is OK, that now is the time to do it, and that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

So I am now rubbing elbows with internet celebrities. Somewhat. Or not so somewhat.

Oh and yes I did reply to Penelope's above email:

Thank you Penelope

I am flattered to receive an email from a "famous" person...

Hump Day Ramblings

I just returned home on this bright sunny Wednesday from a meeting with my Career Management Consultant, which I will from here on out refer to as my CMC. Hopefully everyone will be able to follow. As I was driving home I thought to myself, "So this is what a morning looks like!" Just kidding, sort of, as I do get up around 8am these days to head to the gym. And of course its easier to get up earlier when the weather is nice...so got up at 7am today, showered, shaved, threw on a suit and headed out the door. Now I've been told a suit is not necessary for these meetings, after all I've hired them, however I put on a suit to make me feel like I'm actually doing something, like I'm going off to interview, and eventually to work. Baby steps, my friends, baby steps.

I may have mentioned that I have assignments to complete as homework before each of these meetings. For today's meeting, I had to complete about 40 common interview questions and compose 2 different forms of cover letters, the first based on a job board ad and the second based on a "dream" company, for lack of a better term. I put some decent time into these assignments and I believe it showed. Together my CMC and I went through both the good and bad answers, and he gave me the "right" answers for the tricky questions. I will say I am learning things and feel I will be very prepared when I do start to interview. I f'n hope so, right?! And throughout this process I believe I will start/continue to build confidence, which should be very helpful when this sh*t takes off. I have these type of meetings through the first week of June, then we have what is called "The Launch", which is when I am ready for interviewing, sending out correspondence, etc; In the mean time I can slowly but surely ramp up for this monumental occasion. Boy, do I hope this works! But I am very confident it will. However, hopefully my good spirits/patience/ability to hold out for the right job will outlast my cash money...actually I think I meant to say the opposite...anyway I think you smell what I'm steppin in here.

So my days are mixed with doing a little work, a little research, and a little leisure. For example yesterday I woke, hit the gym, did work on these assignments, went outside, had lunch, caught a few rays, read a bit, then went in and did some work in the afternoon. Did I mention I have a killer tan left over from St. Croix and I'm doing everything in my power to preserve it. Yeah...

So, I just spoke to a friend on the phone and proposed a beach day tomorrow. He told me I sounded like I was trying to sell him something. I am thinking that is a good thing, for I need to start speaking in the business lingo again, sound like I'm confident in whatever point I'm trying to convey. So I'll take that as I sounded professional. Yes, 2 kona coffees deep on the day and I'm sounding professional...

To digress slightly, the book I am now reading is AC Weisbecker's third, Can't You Get Along with Anyone? (remember I read his first two books, muy rapido, down in St. Croix: Cosmic Banditos and In Search of Captain Zero). I'm telling you, go out and get these books and read them in order. Or contact your man Utley and perhaps I'll let you borrow them one by one. But go buy them, support AC...

And what a dramatic episode of 90210 last night! What will those cats at West Bev think of next?

It's now time to hit the links for 18...wish me luck, I'm struggling terribly with this new p wedge I have...

In the words of Eric the Midget, bye for now...

Recap

For all of you following at home, I thought I'd take today to offer up a little recap. Bring everyone up to speed, if you will. And bring myself up to speed. Just what is On Sabbatical all about? Well, let me try to sum things up at this point.

Back in late January, I had a realization that I just was not happy with the way my career was going. Back in 2002, things started great, got off to a nice start with Cintas after graduating from Bentley College, learned some incredible sales skills, worked with good people, made nice money. However, the cold call, new business, always pushing something on someone who doesn't want it lifestyle got to me pretty quickly. Left Cintas in 2005 to go onto a nice career in the mortgage wholesale world. Started off fantastic, loved the job and the tasks associated with it: speaking in front of people, flexiblity, entertaining clients, B to B sales, etc; However, as we all know, the mortgage game crashed, resulting in me going into a tailspin in regards to my career.

What happened? Took a proactive very nice offer to go back to Cintas, hated it from day 4, left to go to a local, small, family owned company, an quickly realized, although in a different atmosphere, I was doing the same routine as Cintas every day. Rather than string the owner along, for in a small company every dollar counts, and to be fair to them and myself, I decided to proactively resign and go "On Sabbatical". Figured some time off may allow me to clear the old head and something would come to me. I didn't want to continue to job hop, and did not know what I wanted to do. Still really don't, but attempting to figure it out. However, I do know there is something special out there for me...

So in early February I began to write this blog. To keep my brain working. To keep moving toward a goal. To get my creative juices flowing. To get those who care about me involved in my life and perhaps give me some feedback, because I really can't go at this alone. In addition to blogging, I hit the gym most mornings, I've been traveling a fair amount, and meeting with people along the way for guidance on this journey 0'mine. Travels have taken me to Vail, Colorado, Chicago, The White Mts of NH, and finally St. Croix. These trips have been amazing. But we've heard about that. Been going to some networking events as well. Those are fun...

After a couple months of "nothing jumping out at me" and the dream job not appearing at my doorstep, it was time to take a more aggressive approach to the career search. I attended a big clusterF of a job fair, but met up with a company that deals with "private and corporate outplacement." They claimed to be selective in who they so choose to work with, for a client must be marketable. I met with them, we hit it off, and I have recently hired them to represent me in all aspects of the career search. From analyzing my strenghts and weaknesses, completely revamping the resume, finding spot and unknown opportunities, everything. And they did not come cheap, but of course, I don't view myself as a "commodity" so why should I hire the cheap guy. This is my career, my life we're speaking about, which is a very important aspect of my life here. I view this as an investment in my career, and if they can help, than it's worth it. But of course, I know I need to put a lot of effort in. And I'm ready.

I have meetings with said company set up through the beginning of June, with homework assignments in between meetings. 1 or 2 meetings per week. They boost my ego when I go in as well, which is nice. Need to be confident during this time.

So that right there is the Cliffs Notes version of the past 3+ months


Hope you're enjoying the ride.

Bob Marley Concert

As I ventured down to the Caribbean for my two week Double Secret Sabbatical, on top of relaxation, sun etc; I had a small goal. Based on my theory (and blog) from a couple months ago, my simple goal was to engage in some interesting conversations. And, always the overachiever, (ha) I did accomplish this.... and some were better than others.

Four days into the trip, I was given the keys to the truck and was on my own for the day. I've been going down to St. Croix for a long time now and this was the first time this had happened. Not a huge deal, but they do drive on the opposite side of the road down there, so some brief "driver's ed" was needed. I think driving on the left is actually cooler than driving on the right, but that just could be the island bias talking. After passing the "driver's test" I was off to conquer the island.

So I packed a bag and headed down to Cane Bay, the closest beach. This beach is generally pretty quiet, ( it was a Tuesday), however it's considered kind of a hotspot for diving and snorkeling. Both not particularly my cups of tea, but it was fun to watch them mill about the beach and ocean. There also are a couple beach bars in the area, so I there was no doubt I'd be frequenting one of those. Or both.

I began the day sitting on the beach, reading The Last Lecture (see previous post if you're confused). After a couple hours, the stomach was growling, so I jumped in the truck and headed to beach bar #1, a place called Off The Wall, for it's location on top of a rocky wall overlooking the sea. I'd eaten here before, knew the food was good, so I was looking forward to the excursion.

I sat down at the bar, and appeared to be surrounded by a crowd of locals. It's easy to spot locals on St. Croix:they are cranking butts, heavily tanned, wrinkled and look about 10-15 years older than they actually are. Locals who've been there a little to long I should say. I ordered a rum punch and a turkey club from the bartender, who basically grunted something inaudible. OK then. I proceeded to smile, peer around the outdoor establishment...not really getting any "bites." Well, perhaps this wasn't the world's friendliest place, but nonetheless food was good, the drinks had rum in them, and I went on my way back to the beach. With my to-go cup, a perfectly legal practice on St. Croix.

I got into the book for another couple hours, mixing up chapters by diving in the blue Caribbean Sea. As my man Jimmy Buffett would say, That salt air, it ain't thin, it'll stick right to your skin, make you feel fine...

After more rays, I noticed the other beach bar, called Spratnet, basically meaning "minnow net" just a short walk down the beach. There was a large Cruzan fellow blasting what appeared to be Bob Marley: Legend and dancing raucously around the bar, which was unoccupied. After watching this guy for a while, who looked like he was having the time of his life, I decided to walk over and see what all the fun was about. I walked on down the beach, up to the bar, sans shirt or shoes, and said, "Hey man, you look like you're having a great time over here...figured I'd come join you." The man let out a ginormous smile, greeting me with the island handshake (a handslap followed by a fist bump) and introduced himself as Calvin, the bartender/proprietor. No one else was there just yet, so Calvin poured me a rum punch, we chatted it up and continued to jam out to Bob Marley. Being caught in the moment, I couldn't help but sing most songs word for word, as I've been listening to that album since I was a freshman in high school.

After another rum, more people started to show up and conversations began to flow naturally. A couple from Colorado, a local young lady, an engineer at the local resort. And of course Calvin. I'm beginning to have a great time. Minutes later, as the reggae rythyms continued to play, Calvin comes over to me and asks, "Hey mon, you goin' to de Bob Marley concert in New York next month?" with a big, sh*t eatin grin on his face. I immediately put on the same grin. "Calvin, are you serious? You takin' me for a fool, my man. Bob's been dead for years! Come on man!" He then let out a laugh, and said he was jus' checkin'. After thinking about this later, Calvin was probably trying to test me, to see if I was just some clueless tourist or poser or whatever. Apparently I passed the test, because then he pulled out a big jug of a dark liquid, label scraped off the side of the bottle. Some people may consider this a red flag, however I did know that some of the local establishments concoct there own thick, rum like liquor, though really not sure what's in it. He sent plastic cups to the girl to my right, the engineer, myself, and finally one for him. He explained this concoction was called "papa wama." Fair enough, we all raised our glasses in celebration of the fine mood of the day.

Shortly after that, three twentysomethings approached the bar, ordered a round of Heinekens and made there way to some loung chairs down on the beach, a few steps from the breaking surf. After studying these three for a bit, I realized they look like my type of cats: 2 laid back, skater/sufer looking dudes and 1 stunning brunette. They looked like a good time, so I proceeded to ask my new friend, "Calvin! Hey, you think those kids down there would have a problem with me going over to join them on the beach?" "No mon, of course not," he replied so I went on my way.

I sauntered on down to them, introduced myself, said I was on the island for two weeks and would love to hang out with a few twentysomethings. The three seemed cool with the idea, so I sat down and conversation would ensue. Turns out they knew some of my family down there, so we began to get along famously. I offered to buy a round, which turned even more famous. The afternoon ended up to be a blast.

But we headed our separate ways, never to reconnect over the course of the trip. I did visit Spratnet again a few times; Calvin and I became fast friends. As for the bartender at Off The Wall? Well, let's just say that over the course of the trip about 5 other people I spoke with said the exact same thing about him. Let's see, how does it translate...oh yes, prick. He was a complete prick.

Moral of the story, if you act poorly, your reputation will precede you. And not in a good way. And if you act like a decent human being, perhaps chat it up a bit, you really never know what will happen...but then again, that's what it's all about, right?

Remember: Always Talk To Strangers!

Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

Returned back to NH Saturday night after 2+ weeks on the island of St. Croix. Did you miss me? Some of you may have thought I just would not return, but this is not the case. As much as I love an island lifestyle, and could absolutely live there, we have bigger fish to fry at the moment my friends. Onward with the search.

A vacation like that is refreshing; I almost always come back from one rejuvenated and ready to embrace whatever there is to embrace back in normal life. And some of you are probably thinking, "He's been On Sabbatical for over 3 months now, what does he need to be rejuvenated from?" Good point, Utley, however a break is needed every so often from the monotony of everyday life, and the challenges in which every day life entails. Mission accomplished.

On top of getting plenty of sun, beach time and eating and drinking very well, the most memorable or effective aspects of the trip were the books I read. Now, at home, I occasionally read books, but don't have a super urge to get through them. At home I'm more of a newspaper and magazine reader. And TV watcher. And for those keeping score, I regularly read The Union Leader (NH's statewide newspaper), Men's Health, Esquire and Playboy. Great articles and overall useful stuff for today's male. And typically on vacations I will read some type of self help book, in hopes of gaining some new found enthusiasm to bring back to a job I don't really care for. Most of my reading is nonfiction, however there has been plenty of fiction sprinkled in there throughout the course of my days.

Along the "self help" lines, I read The Last Lecture, by Prof. Randy Pausch. Pausch was a tenured prof at Carnegie Mellon, who one day found out he had pancreatic cancer and only a few short months to live. With a wife and 3 young children, he had to decide to how to spend the rest of his days and how to leave things behind for his family. What he chose to do was create one last lecture to share with whomever chose to listen, but mainly for his kids to remember him. Inspiring reading and I recommend the book.

However, the reading that really effected me were two books by Allan Weisbecker. Some of you may or may not be familiar with Weisbecker, but he has kind of developed into a cult hero. The first book, Cosmic Banditos, was a gift from mi Peruvian amigo, who highly recommend it. It is an absurd comic romp, I'd say loosely nonfiction based. It was a short read, not terribly deep material, but what it primarily did was get me very intrigued into Weisbecker's other works. I finished Cosmic Banditos in just 3 days, and immediately ordered his second book, In Search of Captain Zero via Amazon. This book came a week later, and wow was it amazing (In between reading these two I read The Last Lecture and half of The 4-Hour Workweek, which was OK, but not ready to go there just yet...)

I began reading Captain Zero last Wednesday, hoping to finish it on Saturday, the day of my departure. Once I picked up the book, I really couldn't put it down, reading it on the porch overlooking the lush green hillside of St. Croix, the beach at Cane Bay, and finally at the airport in San Juan and the whole plane ride back to Boston. Finished it as the plane was landing, which provided a unique state of emotion, finishing the gripping story as well as ending my vacation and the thought of what's to come in my life. I won't say too much about the book, but its basically about a middle-aged surfing expat who partakes in a journey down through Mexico and Central America in search of an old friend. I don't even know how to describe the overall emotion of the story, however judging by the huge cult following of these books (aweisbecker.com) many have felt the same way. And the day I returned to NH I went straight back to Amazon and ordered his third book, eagerly waiting it's arrival.

So here I am, back in the States, in hopes of becoming a better person, a more directed person, and ready to embrace the newest stage of the "job hunt" for lack of a better term, head-on. About f'n time, some might say.

In the mean time, I will continue to live my life like a song, and see just what the future holds for one Mr. Utley...